


Against All Odds

by thisaintmacys



Series: Against All Odds: The Series [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, Coma, Depression, Developing Friendships, Doctors & Physicians, F/M, Family Feels, Gen, Handcuffs, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Original Character(s), Realistic, Sad Mickey, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Worried Mickey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-12-22 07:53:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisaintmacys/pseuds/thisaintmacys
Summary: "I'm just... trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."Gallavich // Canon-Divergence from Season 7 Onward. Spoilers will be in this story for season 7; view that season before you begin.[ Note: This story updates slowly due to the content and my schedule; plus I'm writing several other fanfictions right now and do not have time to focus on everything. Especially the really sad stuff - like this one and "Until I Find You Again". ]





	1. Barely Breathing ( Day One )

**Author's Note:**

> First, I need to make a statement saying that I write slowly and I take my time. This story is emotionally draining to write and can be very hard on my mind. If I'm not in the best mindset, it'll take me a little while longer than it usually would for me to update, but I will get it done. I will NOT let anyone down!
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: This story contains heavy, hard-hitting subject matter including the topic of suicide and suicide attempts. While this story is meant to show people that there are reasons to keep on living, even when you feel like there are none, it can be perceived as heavily triggering. My advice? Read cautiously. Stop reading if you can't handle the material within. 
> 
> If you're considering harming yourself or worse, please, contact a suicide hotline or text 741-741. Also, check the tags for all possible triggers in the story before going past this notice! Thanks.
> 
> Also, title credit belongs to Phil Collins.

"I'll get there as quickly as I can, Fi; go ride with him. _Go!_ " Lip exclaimed in a panic, watching as the ambulance hauling his younger brother off shut the doors, his own co-workers working to revive Ian. He had only been found ten minutes before by Trevor and Fiona when they realized something was wrong, Lip had arrived back at the house to check in, when he noticed Trevor giving Ian CPR on the lawn with one of Ian's own kits from work. Since then, everything was a total blur and nothing seemed to make sense in the eldest Gallagher brother's own mind as he helplessly wondered if Ian would make it through the night. 

Making his way back inside the house to grab his own jacket and keys, a loosened piece of wood on the porch snagged the bottom of Lip's jeans, causing the young man to stumble forward. "What the fuck?" Lip muttered curiously through tears as he looked down at his feet. Between the cracks, he could see repeated blue blinking, and what looked like a flip phone of some kind. He bent down, moved the plank of wood aside, and grabbed the phone to flip it open.

The phone was on, the screen read 'Missed Call, 8:41pm: MICKEY" and as soon as Lip saw the name he ran inside with the phone to sit down on the couch, pressing the number one to dial Mickey back. Even if it was now after eleven, Mickey had to know what was going on, even if it put him and his brother at risk. 

The sound of the flip phone buzzing woke Mickey, he wasn't expecting a call back since Ian had been ignoring him, only talking with him once after he crossed into Mexico. He quickly grabbed the phone out of his nightstand and flipped it open to answer the call. "What the fuck took you so long, Firecrotch?" Mickey asked, furrowing his brow as he waited for an answer. He sounded both exhausted and irritated by the call. Hearing sniffling and what sounded like  shaky breathing on the other end of the line, Mickey calmed himself, just long enough to see if he was okay. "Hey, Ian, you okay? Whatcha sobbin' about?" Mickey questioned.

"It's Lip; Ian's been taken to the ER. He tried to commit suicide, and I'm heading to the Hospital to see how he is. If he's still with us," Lip managed to get out without openly crying, gasping for air, or letting his voice break. Though to Mickey, he already sounded broken by his tone of voice, and the words alone were enough to make Mickey want to spring into action. "Keep your phone on, I'll be in touch but I have to go now."

"Hold up," Mickey began, his hands going cold as they shook while he held tightly onto the burner phone he kept for contact between the two. "I'm coming home, alright? I'm crossing that damn border, you tell him to hold on for me, I'll be back to him soon!" Mickey added, his own voice cracking as a tear fell down onto his cheek. The two ended the call, Mickey grabbed his things and tossed them into the only bag he had, then headed off into the night. Already knowing of a way to get back as long as he contacted the right connections to get him to Illinois safely.

"This is a new fuckin' low; even for you, Ian." Mickey mumbled under his breath tearfully as he packed his things, fearing the worst. He knew going back would land him in jail for good, yet he didn't care, as long as he could see Ian one last time. 

On the way to the Hospital, Lip thought of ways to help Mickey go unnoticed in the building by security, or anyone else that could be watching for him still. A few months had past by but a search seemed to always be on for fugitives in the area. Yet his mind kept returning to his brother and all he could do was hope for the best, even if he was expecting the worst. As he parked, he took a moment to take everything in and collect himself, as he walked towards the Hospital across the street from the parking deck. 

* * *

 

With swollen, puffy red eyes Lip walked across the street and into the emergency room, where his siblings were gathered. Trevor was sitting quietly to the side, his eyes locked on the floor, but empty as if he was staring off into space. His head filled with deep, winding thoughts about everything going on around him. Debbie was trying to stay strong as she held Franny, giving a look to Neil as if she was pleading for him to keep quiet, so his honesty wouldn't come out. So he wouldn't say what everyone else was thinking. 

"Hey, so, what do we know about Ian? He's going to make it, right?" Lip asked, he looked around the room as he waited for a reply. Fiona was being held by V as she was crying, Veronica looked up at Lip then motioned for him to sit, as Kev got up to move to the empty seat right next to him. Lip took Kev's seat and Fiona looked up at her younger brother, it took her a few moments to collect herself, as she held onto Lip's hand. She noticed how he was shaking and his hands were cold for a change; they were almost always warm but not that night. "C'mon, someone say something, please!" Lip pleaded, his voice finally cracking as another tear managed to fall from behind his eyelids.

Fiona exhaled a breath as she sat up, she was using a tissue to wipe away her tears, as she thought about what the doctors told her and what happened in the ambulance on the way to the Hospital. "His heart stopped twice on the way here, the doctor believes he may have been unconscious for a little while before we found him, but he's not sure how long." Fiona explained, Lip's heart sank and anger began to build within his mind, but he remained as calm as he could with a clinched jaw. He silently listened as he waited for his sister to continue. 

"Ian's being stabilized, he's in a coma, and we don't know if he's going to wake up from the coma. We've been told that we should get plans in order for him; just in case he doesn't make it." Fiona explained, trying to calmly speak though inside she wanted to scream just as badly as Lip. Lip was holding in so much emotion but for once, instead of lashing out like he normally would, he sat for a few seconds in total silence. He couldn't believe he was losing his brother to something Ian used to call 'cowardly'; he used to say he wouldn't go down without a good reason. 

"All we can do is pray right now and hope for the best, Lip," V innocently spoke up, Lip bitterly glared up at his sister's best friend, earning him a stern look from Kev. Lip was truly irritated, he ran his hands through his hair, and stood up to walk out.

"Yeah, you can do that. I need some air," Lip stated, his voice cracking as he walked outside and away from any potential cameras as he got out the burner phone. Opening it, he pressed the number '1', and silently waited for Mickey to pick up.

" _Tell me what you know_ ," Mickey demanded, trying to keep it together with one of his hands locked firmly on the steering wheel of his car as he drove. "He has a heartbeat, right?" Mickey added, his tone changing from one of forced toughness to one of worry.

"Barely, he's - he's not breathing well and I think they're getting him stabilized for now. Ian's in a coma, Mickey; we've been told that he's not going to make it and to get our shit in order!" Lip explained, he sounded more like he was in shock than anything as he talked to the former lover of his younger half-sibling. "I'm losing my best friend and I never got to tell him goodbye." He added, sniffling as he spoke. With the numbness from crying setting in, at least Lip could talk to Mickey without breaking down. Mickey on the other hand was at a loss. He remembered how the two always talked about how, if one of them was to die, then the other would go at or around the same time. At least, that was how they envisioned things happening before Ian being diagnosed, then Mickey started watching every move Ian made. Angering Ian to the point of a break-up, before Mick's arrest.

Then after one last somewhat confusingly passionate trip together - Ian went silent for close to six months. No calls, no texts, no contact. Just a bunch of messages and a poorly hidden phone outside the Gallagher residence. It only remained there so if Ian did change his mind, he could call Mickey, and check on him after parting ways for what Ian saw as the last time.

"Yeah, I'm _totally not_ buying that bullshit! I don't trust doctors, when they're robbing us blind for a basic human right, anyway!" Mickey stated, he was in too much shock now to think with any emotion outside of denial. "He's going to make it through this, he's tougher than you think and one of the strongest people I know. Call me with updates; I'll be there in about three days. Four, at the most." Mickey continued to ramble bitterly.

"What will you do if you get here and he's gone?" Lip questioned, knowing it was a possibility.

"I'll think of that when the time comes but it's not going to happen, Lip; he's going to make it through this." Mickey responded, ending the phone call as he shut the burner phone. Immediately, he pulled over to the side of the road, and got out just in time as his stomach emptied his dinner from earlier onto the ground beneath his feet. 

* * *

Kevin and Veronica had taken off by the time Lip re-entered the Hospital. The young man sat down with his siblings for a few minutes, he noticed that Trevor had left as well, due to the time. He remained sitting there, his mind wandered as he thought of how Mickey would realistically get back across the Border, and into the State of Illinois without being caught. Then he remembered, he had a tracking device that helped him and Kev avoid the police, a couple of years ago. He knew if he could find that thing, he could help Mickey, and possibly help him return back to his hiding spot in Mexico if something did happen with Ian. Though, in that moment, Lip decided to think like Mickey for once and try to think positively. Even if his own logic was saying that Mickey would get busted at the Border and Ian may not even wake up. 

Just as Lip started to drift off into a nap, a low but calming voice woke him, as well as Fiona up from their little bit of shut eye. He had approached Fiona and was standing before her, Lip, and Debby as he began to explain what was going on. "Your brother is in the ICU; he's on a ventilator, we're giving him fluids, and we're keeping watch on him. You'll have to come back in the morning since visiting hours are over, if you wish to see him." Dr. Lopez explained, adjusting the black framed glasses against his nose as he looked over the paperwork. "Any questions for me tonight?" He questioned, taking a quick glance around the room.

"How did he do it?" Neil asked, earning a look from the family before Debbie spoke up to shush her boyfriend.

"Um, I really don't think we should talk about that!" Debbie explained, trying to be sensitive to her older siblings feelings plus there were other people sitting in the room, but they were on the other side of the waiting area. "Fiona will talk to you about it, if she wants to, okay?"

"Yeah and just to let you know - I don't want to talk about it, Neil." Fiona clarified, her tone stern and her glare towards the man showing him she meant business. The eldest of the siblings stood up, grabbed her bag and keys, and thanked the doctor. Dr. Lopez excused himself while the small group headed out into the night, going their separate ways temporarily, with the two eldest siblings going back to the Gallagher home. 

A place where neither of them truly wanted to spend the next few hours.


	2. Drive ( Day Two: Early Afternoon )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get a little darker, like I said, so listen to my advice and don't read if you're scared this will trigger you or make you feel a certain way. This story is not meant, in any way, to glorify self-harm or suicide/suicidal actions. Thank you for understanding.
> 
> Title for chapter is "Drive" inspired by the song "Drive" by The Cars!

It was mid-afternoon, visitors were now allowed back into the ICU area of the Hospital where Ian was staying, but before Lip arrived he knew he needed to check in with Mickey. He pulled into a parking lot, got out the burner phone and called his brother's ex the moment he spotted an open parking space.  His heart was beating like a drum within his chest cavity, he was scared to see his brother and also still feeling shaken from the emotions of cleaning up an attempted suicide. 

There was something about the way Ian's room had looked, like there had been a struggle after he realized he was at the 'no turning back' point of his decision. Lip could sense the feelings of anguish, fear, and hopelessness in the air as he looked around that room. If something happened and Ian took the ultimate turn for the worst, like the doctors seem to be expecting, Lip knew these images would haunt him for the rest of his existence.

Mickey picked up within a couple of quick rings. "What do you know, Lip?" He asked, just as soon as he swallowed a bite of his fries, which he was quickly pushing aside due to a sudden drop in appetite. "He's still with us, right?" Mickey questioned, trying to make sure that Ian hadn't passed on during the night while he was resting at a truck stop. He was already past the Border, he had driven for eight hours, slept for four, then started back on the road again fueled by energy drinks and fast food.

"Not much." Lip stated, thinking about how he hadn't been updated which was both a good and bad sign; it meant that the younger male was alive but he wasn't any better or worse. He was simply comatose. "Where are you?" The eldest Gallagher brother questioned. By the time the two had made contact, Mickey was already in Oklahoma, headed for Missouri which meant he was only ten hours away at that point.

One more stop for the night and he would be there.

"I'm uh, about _ten hours or so_ away from you guys." Mickey admitted, without giving away his exact location, though he was already crossing into Missouri. In reality, he was outside of Branson, but didn't want Lip to know. Still, Lip knew he needed to get out that old tracker and make it so it would track Mickey down, and alert him to the cops if they were close by in the city once he arrived. "On to the point; I need to know how Ian is!"

"He's still the same; I'm heading to the Hospital now. I know nothing new about him," the eldest Gallagher brother explained himself. Mickey exhaled a sigh of relief then he realized it was a little weird that it was like Lip was checking on him. Maybe he was, maybe he legitimately cared and wanted him there for his brother, but Mickey was still taking precautions. "All I know....is that I found his note. It was a three page handwritten letter," the ocean eyed boy admitted as he fought back tears while he thought about what the letter said. 

 _"Please, **forgive me** , I'm in so much pain. I can't do this anymore."_  

_"Don't be angry; you wouldn't be if it was an accident or natural causes. Right? This isn't any different."_

Those words were another part that struck Lip deeply when he read the letter; he didn't think his brother needed to be forgiven, despite the hurt he caused. Sure, the pain was now , but Ian was finally not feeling anything. As much as Lip wanted his brother,  _his best friend_ to come back, he knew it would be a long time before he would ever recoup. Before he would ever be the same guy again. That was to say, if he even came out of his coma, and he survived. For all Lip knew, his younger brother would become brain dead at any time, and if that happened then there would be no turning back.

" _If you love me, if you really love me, don't contact Mickey and don't try to save me. Please. He needs to have some peace, just tell him to flee again and you won't report him to the cops. Do something but make sure he doesn't know and make sure **he's free**._ " 

That was, perhaps, the worst part of the whole letter to his family. An entire page alone had been written about Mickey, it was the last page of the entire letter and it contained so much about their relationship. Ian truly blamed himself for Mickey being unhappy but he could never see how much love the other had for him. Mickey didn't want the two of them to end, he wanted to be with Ian for the rest of his life,  _for better and for worse._ Yet all Ian could do was see himself as a burden to his family, Mickey, Mandy, Kev, V, and his co-workers.

Lip felt guilty that he hadn't spoken to Mandy and that he was talking to Mickey about the situation instead. As the conversation came to a close, Mickey said he would be there the next day, and to tell Ian to keep holding on for him. Lip agreed, he turned the burner phone off then slid it into his pocket, as he headed back. Not knowing what to expect when he got to the Hospital that day. 

"Hey, I need to get back on the road so call me again later after you have an update." Mickey stated, he was starting to get paranoid as he had been parked in a McDonald's parking lot for far too long during the early dinner rush, and he didn't want some cop finding him. "Gotta go."

With a click, the call suddenly ended and Lip let out a small sigh as he got back on the road to his destination.

* * *

 

The drive was relatively short, it passed quickly to Lip, and when he arrived he froze outside, as he took in the scenery. The tall buildings surrounding him, including the area where they were keeping Ian stable, had a brand new modern design after being rebuilt. Shatterproof glass made up the majority of the Hospital's building front walls. Doctors, visitors, and even patients could be seen walking along the halls from above.

On one floor, someone was being rushed into surgery, and on another Lip could see a woman rubbing her large pregnant stomach as she paced the halls, breathing deeply while her partner rubbed her lower back to ease her contraction pains. Something about the latter was bittersweet; it managed to make Lip form a faint smile from a brief moment of seeing something good during all this. Something so small, a woman carrying new life walking along those halls, was all Lip needed to make him feel a little better before going inside.

Still, deep down, Lip didn't want to go in or acknowledge this was happening. Yet the reality was setting in as he set foot through the doors; it hurt like hell for him to step inside and ask for his brother's room number for the first time. "Hi, uh, I'm Phillip Gallagher looking for Ian Gallagher's room?" He asked, the nurse typed in the name given and gave him gave the twenty-something a small, sympathetic smile as they locked eyes.

"He's in room four fifteen," the curvy, thirty-something blonde nurse responded as she realized the relative to this young man must have been bad off due to his location. "The chapel is one floor above, it's relatively peaceful, if you need a moment away from the critical care floor." she suggested as lip took in the sight of the golden cross necklace she was wearing. Lip simply nodded as a way of thanking her as he walked off.

* * *

When he arrived on the forth floor, he headed for room 415, reading signs to direct him along the way before stopping in his tracks. He could hear talking coming from the room and in front of him, his younger brother stood with tears in his eyes, as he motioned Lip over. Lip quietly approached Carl, pulling him in for a quick comforting hug as he took in the sight, to see why Carl was tearing up as he stood outside the room. Frank was standing at the end of the bed, neither of the boys could see Ian from past his waist due to a light blue curtain blocking their view, as they stood there.

"I know I'm the biggest reason why you're here, Ian," Frank admitted, his tone of voice filled with sorrow and heavy with the burden of guilt, as they listened to him having a moment alone with Ian. "I was never good to you because I knew you belonged to my brother; it wasn't because you looked like your mother. You looked like Clayton and I was bitter, knowing she cheated on me, and that she could do that to me. It wasn't your fault, though," Frank continued, Lip clenched his jaw as he fought back the urge to barge in and bash his father's skull into the linoleum flooring.

"You deserve better than to be in this bed because of my actions and because of your mother's wrong doings," Frank continued onward, at least he was admitting his wrong doings in the past and taking at least partial responsibility. The middle-aged drunk moved to sit on the edge of the bed, he reached out and touched his son's hand, feeling the soft yet cold skin beneath his own rough fingers. "If you can hear me, I want to tell you I'm sorry and that if you come out of this, I'll try to do better by all of you kids. I do love you, Ian, but I am shit at showing it." Frank concluded, just as he was about to be interrupted by Lip, right before Fiona arrived as chaos was about to ensue within the four walls of that room. 

Veronica took Fiona's bag and held it as she stepped in to hold Lip back from taking a swing at their father. "Calm down," Fiona demanded in a stern, parental tone of voice as she locked her deep brown eyes onto Lip's cyan hues. "If you get us kicked out of here because you're pissed off and need a punching bag, I'll kick your ass myself!" Fiona continued, Lip breathed heavily and remained silent as he parted from his sister's grip.

"Frank, you need to leave and stop with your half-assed apology," Lip commented angrily, Frank didn't say anything else, instead he moved past his other kids and headed through the doorway. For the first time, really noticing that Carl had grown into a young man in seemingly the blink of an eye, and he realized he had truly missed his own children's lives due to his past mistakes.

Stopping in his tracks, Frank turned around and stepped back into the room. "I meant it when I said I was sorry and I'm sorry I let all of you down but if he makes it, I'm going to do better. I will." Frank apologized, none of the kids believed him as they listened.

"This isn't about you, Frank. _Leave_." Fiona exclaimed, her father then turned and walked out of the room once more, knowing he wouldn't be back because he simply couldn't do it.

Even if he wanted to see Ian again.

* * *

Once Frank was out of the room, Fiona quietly walked over to the curtain and pulled it back, to take a good look at Ian. He was far more pale than usual, his skin was nearly translucent, and he felt cold to the touch. He was hooked up to machinery, a ventilator leaving him there with a long light blue tube down his throat, with his hands cuffed to the bed. His legs restrained as well by straps on bed.

" _Holy shit_ ," Carl muttered, Fiona couldn't hold back the tears as they began to flood from her eyes, Carl immediately stepped forward to hold her in his arms. Tears began to fall from his eyes as well upon seeing such a disturbing, heartbreaking sight before him. 

"Oh, Ian," V whispered as she held one of his hands. "Please come back from all this, you're so much stronger than you know, and we all love you." Veronica continued, Lip took a step back and clinched his own jaw as tears fell down onto his cheeks, finally slipping past his eyelids as he looked at his brother. His best friend. Laying there unconscious, hopefully not feeling any pain or suffering, while he looked to be in a very deep sleep.

When his eyes locked on Ian's neck, Lip's heart broke for the younger Gallagher brother because it looked so much worse than before when they found him. They found him and he had a reddening streak from the cord he had used. Now, his neck was nearly black from bruising. A deep navy, round streak circling around the pale freckled skin. Shades of red, purple, and pink outlined the darker parts of the bruising on Ian's neck where the skin had been rubbed raw by the cord, as Ian fought to get free before blacking out.

"Come back, please." Fiona pleaded, placing her forehead onto Ian's shoulder as she thought back to happier times. When Ian didn't have his mental illness, when he was the sweet smiling little boy he used to be, and how happy he was even at the start of his relationship with Mickey. "I wish there was a way to make you better." She exhaled with a quiet sob, after taking in Ian's scent; he still smelled like Old Spice "Fiji" deodorant and "Wolfthorn" shampoo. They were his favorites.

Admittedly, he wore them because Mickey used to love the smell of the combination of scents on him.

* * *

 "I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm Dr. Robert Townsend; I'm the neurologist assigned to Ian's case. Where is Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher?" the doctor questioned as he glanced around the room. He was white, yet sun-kissed as if he had been on vacation recently to somewhere tropical. His hair was wavy and dark while his eyes were a pale shade of baby blue. Fiona couldn't help but to think he was damn gorgeous as she looked back at him but she shook the inappropriate thought from her mind. This was not the time or place to be lusting after a man. 

"Monica, our mother, died several months ago and Frank is a drunken, drug addicted _piece of shit_ that just left us to suffer. He's our deadbeat father. I've been in charge of the household for almost seventeen years now," Fiona explained, using a light pink tissue to wipe tears falling from her eyes while she collected herself. 

"What can you tell us about him?" Fiona asked, expecting to hear the worst though deep down she was hoping for something good, as unlikely as it would be for him to bounce back from this. The neurologist let out a small sigh, the kind that usually meant bad news as he thought of a way to carefully word things, without giving too much hope or dread to the family. Ian, at that point, was holding on but struggling to survive.

"He's going to make it, right?"

"Ian doesn't have much of a chance to recover from his suicide attempt. With his loss of oxygen from trying to hang himself on sleeping pills," the Doctor began, "I would say he's going to be in a coma for a limit of three weeks. If he's not better by the end of week three, we'll consider him brain dead, due to the severe lack of oxygen and you'll need your arrangements in order." Dr. Townsend concluded, Lip ran a hand through his hair as he began to grow frustrated, and he was starting to crave alcohol because this was too much for him to take. The stress was piling on and Lip couldn't take much more of it.

"Has Ian ever attempted suicide before or tried to harm himself in any way?" Dr. Townsend asked.

"No, no previous attempts; he has never been suicidal. Just severely depressed and has self-harmed in the past, Ian has a habit of burning himself to feel, that's all. He never talked about suicide; unless he would say it was for cowards to have a way out," Fiona explained, the doctor seemed to be baffled by his sister's words, but decided to go along with what she was saying.

"Ian once said our mother was a coward when she attempted and ended up in a psych ward herself." Lip commented, his voice shaking as he spoke the words. "So I guess we're going to lose him then? Nothing can be done?" Lip questioned.

"I didn't say he wouldn't make it but I can't promise he will come out of this, either," the doctor explained calmly. "Just try to be positive, be here for your brother, and give him all the love you can!" The doctor concluded, he then stepped forward to have a look at the bags of fluids attached to Ian through an IV. After making a quick observation, he turned to the white board across the room and picked up a dry erase marker, to write down a note for the nurses.

"Increase pain medication and push fluids every six hours." Lip read, just as the doctor left the room and he turned back to face his brother.

"So he can feel what's going on?" Lip asked.

"I think it's a precaution in case he wakes up; his neck is in bad shape, Lip." Veronica commented, Lip nodded and moved to sit down on the couch in the room, as he took everything in.

"I need to go for a little bit but I'll be back, okay? I'm going to go update Debbie and Neil." Lip stated, Fiona silently nodded as she watched her brother leave the room.

"Drive safe and get back here as soon as you can!" Fiona called out, Lip let out a shaky breath as he listened, feeling his heart finally break as he pulled out his personal cellphone to find a number he added only recently. When he went through Ian's phone, just in case he needed to contact people, if an emergency took place within the family.  
Seeing the name 'Mandy' come up on the screen, Lip waited till he was outside, and pressed the button to dial the number.

When he heard Mandy's voice on the other end of the line, Lip's heart skipped a beat, and he leaned against the outside of the building. "Hello?" She spoke a second time and Lip quietly, yet quickly replied.

"Mandy. I have some bad news about Ian."

"What happened? This better not be some fucked up scheme to get me back, Lip." She asked as Lip began to walk to his car.

"It's not, you need to come back home to Chicago. He's dying." Lip admitted, his voice cracking as he broke down once he was inside his vehicle where he could have some privacy.

"Oh my God."

 


	3. True Faith / Enjoy The Silence ( Night Two and Morning Three )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab your tissues. Get ready for surprises. Also, uh, 10 points to your Hogwarts house of choice if you catch any fandom references in this chapter or from here on out. They'll be subtle. Oh and one more thing? Ian's side of the story will be available soon. I'm working on that now.
> 
> Title Credits:  
> "Enjoy The Silence" by Depeche Mode   
> "True Faith" by New Order

Mickey took in the sight before him - it was one he didn't knew he had missed. A place that truly felt like home to him, unlike the Milkovich home, which reminded him of the living Hell that was his childhood. Beneath the night sky, the colors of the home were faded with a tint of yellow from the streetlights along the sidewalks beside the home. He didn't expect to return, at least not in these conditions, but there he stood about to walk up the stairs to the side of the home. Where he would soon enter the house through the kitchen's side door. Just like old times. 

With a few knocks, Lip quickly opened the door and took in the sight before him, noticing how Mickey was not the guy he remembered. Mickey's hair was it's true color, the same shade of red that Mandy once had before she began dyeing her hair black, too. Lip, well, Lip looked slightly older and like he hadn't slept in a week - which truthfully he probably hadn't. He had spent nearly twenty-four hours straight as Mickey traveled home to get prepared for his arrival. 

"You look like shit, bro!" Lip exclaimed as he took in the sight before him, letting Mickey inside as he stepped to his left to close the door behind the other to lock the door. Mickey was tanned from the sun exposure, slightly dirty, and definitely unclean - his hair looked totally unwashed. It was shining with oil from his scalp and old product from days before.

"Thanks, asshole." Mickey retorted with a bitter tone to his voice. He was completely exhausted both physically and emotionally; he wasn't in a mood to be teased by the eldest Gallagher brother. 

"Come upstairs. I got something for ya," Lip stated, ignoring the insult to walk up the kitchen stairs so he could show Mickey what he had done. "It's going to help you out in a big way." Lip added, Mickey felt a twinge of suspicion and yet he still followed the young man upstairs.

"You know I'm not into you like that, right?"

"Shut up, Mickey."

"Jus' sayin, man."

* * *

"So why are we up here? What did you go through to supposedly help me?" Mickey asked, tossing his red duffel bag down on the floor next to the bed. 

"I made something last night to track you and keep you out of the way of any cops near by!" Lip confessed, he motioned for Mickey to follow him upstairs and Mickey obliged, following him silently as they walked. "You can thank me for that later; right now, I need to put this tracker on you." Lip explained, he grabbed the tracker off the nightstand, and placed it around Mickey's ankle, once he rolled the man's denim pants leg up. 

"Damn, you need to shower!" Lip observed, noticing that his brother's ex-boyfriend smelled horrible and must have worn the same jeans through his whole trip. Possibly the same boxers. "You definitely need to before we go to the Hospital tomorrow; I'm not riding with you, if you're going to smell like horrible body odor." 

"You say that being Frank Gallagher's son. You're used to the smell!" Mickey exclaimed, the two realized they were being ridiculous after the comment was made and broke into quiet awkward laughter. 

Mickey took a quick look around the bedroom. He noticed nothing had changed, except that it was cleaner and he could see a mark on the side of the bunk bed where Ian had struggled. A mark from the bottom of one of Ian's shoes; seeing that caused him to feel his heart shatter within the walls of his chest. Knowing there was a likely pain involved, made it all the more worse, in his own thoughts.

"Is that...where he?" Mickey questioned, pointing at the bed post, Lip swallowed hard then nodded his head.

"That's where he tried to, yeah." Lip stopped himself then shook off the thoughts as he grabbed the tracker from the wooden desk in the room.

"Why are you doin' this shit for me, Lip?" Mickey questioned as he watched Lip test out the application on his iPhone. Everything was working smoothly, Lip could see Mickey's exact location, as well as the coordinates where several police cars were located near the area. One was just down the block and moving along, out of the way, possibly just casually patrolling the area. 

"You're kind of a friend to me after all you've done for Ian; I can't repay you or thank you enough for all the care you've shown him," Lip began to explain as he took in a deep shaky breath, "I think you deserve to get to see him and not have the pigs breathing down your back the whole time." Lip rambled, he quickly wiped away a tear as he moved to stand up once the tracker was secured in place. 

"Don't worry about getting that thing a little wet, it's waterproof, and made out of some material that would be somewhat weather resistant. I'll fix it if the thing fucks up." Lip carried on, Mickey nodded sadly and sat down on the bed he once shared with Ian. 

"Christ, Lip, this room smells like Ian," Mickey admitted as he ran his fingers along the pillow.

"I don't know how I'll make it without him in my life."

"Neither do I. It's going to be impossible to bring him back from this from what the doctors have said."

" _Don't fuckin' tell me what's impossible_ when it comes to Ian, Lip. I know him; he's stronger than any of you realize." Mickey stated. He took another look around and placed his bag down at the foot of the bed.

"I'm sleeping in here."

"Alright. Get some rest."

Lip headed downstairs to go catch some shut-eye, finally leaving his brother's ex-boyfriend alone, as he wandered downstairs to the kitchen. He was so tempted to grab a beer from the fridge but even with his hands shaking he resisted the urge. Grabbing a bottle of Coca-Cola instead.

Mickey remained alone in the bedroom as he thought about all the nights he had spent there. " ** _What the fuck, Gallagher? Why would you do this?_** " Mickey thought aloud as he got out a change of clothes, then moved to get under the covers, to tuck himself in for a good night's rest. Hoping he wouldn't have to rush to the Hospital with Lip the next day after finding out tragic news. Mickey buried his face into Ian's pillow and took in the familiar scent while he exhaled a shaky breath into the pillow, tears pouring from his eyes as he hid his face, while he gripped the pillow that Ian once used. 

* * *

The piercing, rapid beat of heart monitor alarms sounding off alerted the team of nurses assigned to the floor that night, letting them know Ian was mysteriously crashing. Two doctors on the floor also entered into the room behind the nurses.

"Give him a shot of Epi!" One doctor barked orders to the nurses in the room, as soon as the words were spoken, a nurse grabbed a syringe full of Epinephrine. The nurse used one of his hands to grasp the entry point of the IV, and the other hand to push the fluid into the tube. Sending the drug directly into Ian's veins. However, he wasn't responding to the treatment.

"How is this possible?" One nurse questioned as the other got the defibrillator set up to shock Ian once ordered. After three shocks, his heart was back to a normal and stable but still semi-rapid rhythm. 

"He's back, give him a ten mg shot of Lorazepam to slow that heart rate down. Get him ready, order both an MRI, and a CT scan. We need to find out what's wrong before we lose this kid!" The resident on call stated, the doctor working along side him headed out to go call the family with the news.

* * *

 

By the time Lip and Mickey fell asleep, Fiona had arrived home, but decided to crash over at Kev and Veronica's house. Knowing they would be there for support if she needed it. Carl had went to stay with Officer Winslow, reducing his risk of running into Frank, and again he was with someone positive that could provide support for the heartbroken teen. Frank hadn't been seen, except for once that morning at the Alibi, and he was assumed to be somewhere on a subway train drunk and passed out. 

The sun was going to begin to rise at any time when the family got the call. Fiona immediately went to tell Lip in person; he waited semi-patiently for Fiona to leave, saying he would be right behind her as soon as he got dressed, just to give him a few. Once his sister left, Lip rushed up the stairs and let himself into the room, only to see Mickey was throwing on a heavy coat. He was ready to go which surprised the eldest Gallagher brother.

"I know, I heard everything and I'm ready." Mickey stammered, his hands shaking as he followed Lip downstairs then out the door. 

"What the hell happened to you back in Mexico?" Lip questioned, noticing that the other was showing some classic PTSD signs. Lack of sleep, hyper-vigilance, panicked response to things without much reasoning. 

"I don't want to talk about it but I am glad I'm here and not there right now. The beach wasn't worth it, man." Mickey explained, the cold morning air hitting him causing a different kind of shiver down his spine. One less terrifying than the one that was coming from the fear lying in the pit of his stomach. 

"I understand."

"Does Mandy know?" Mickey randomly asked, Lip locked eyes with the azure hued young man then nodded his head.

"She should be here today. Maybe."

"Is she going to turn my ass in?" Mickey questioned.

"That's... _doubtful_. She's very worried about Ian." Lip concluded as he got in the car.

* * *

 

After fighting the early morning traffic, the two arrived, with Lip leading the way into the Hospital. Carl looked up from a new issue of Sport's Illustrated when he saw the two enter the building together. Mickey appeared to be incredibly tired and shaken up despite his efforts to hide his emotions. "Mickey's here?" Carl asked, his eyes darting between Lip and Mickey, as he tried to figure out why the Milkovich brother was suddenly back in their lives.

"Don’t let **anyone** know it’s him, _okay_?" Lip whispered, Fiona furrowed her brow then approached the three young men.

"Please - don't tell anyone I'm here!" Mickey sincerely pleaded, Carl nodded though he was pushed aside by his older sister as she made her way over to them.

"Oh, **_HELL NO_** , I am not hiding a fucking **escaped fugitive** in **my house** ," She responded to the words being exchanged among the three. Mickey looked up out of the corner of his eye, when she saw him wipe a quick tear away while he stood behind Lip.

"You won’t be; _I’m the guilty party here_. Don’t make this shit about you right now," Lip retorted, he then lead Mickey away though Fiona dropped her cold façade and approached Mickey before they could get to the elevator. "You always do that at the worst possible time."

"Mickey, you really came all this way to see Ian though he probably won't make it?" Fiona asked, turning her attention to her brother's former lover.  She could feel guilt inside her heart as she looked back at him now; she could tell she had been way too hard on him. Mickey nodded in response then glanced over to Lip. He couldn’t speak, he knew he would break if he did, so the eldest of the Gallagher boys spoke up for him. While he simply exhaled a quiet shaky breath of air.

"He loves Ian, alright?" Lip pleaded, Fiona nodded then stepped away as she gave Mickey a look of sympathy. "Mandy is on her way in, too, so she’ll probably be here today." Lip concluded.

"Fair enough but you could be less of a dick about it, Lip." Fiona replied, she had never seen Mickey in tears before and knew he wasn’t one to cry easily; the eldest of the two Gallagher sisters knew him well enough to know that. "What the hell are we going to call you?" Fiona asked quietly, turning her full attention back to Mickey, and the young man pointed to the stolen Military tag on his top.

"Sgt. Miguel Martín," Mickey responded softly through a quiet sob. 

"Just say I'm your cousin Miguel - a cousin by marriage, in-law, whatever. I'll handle the rest."

"Okay, I'll try to remember that." Fiona commented in response. As she walked away, she looked at the others in the lobby and explained that they all needed to keep quiet about Mickey’s presence. Debbie sat wide-eyed as she watched Lip and Mickey walk onto the elevators together. 

" **That's him?** I couldn’t tell who that was!” Debs admitted, she seemed shocked by seeing the young man, but then again his looks had changed fairly drastically. He was no longer the short, stocky, black-haired young man with skin as pale as Ian's anymore. 

* * *

 

With a ding, the doors opened to the elevator, and the two stepped off to walk down the halls to Ian's room. He still looked as though he was resting peacefully. As soon as Mickey looked at him, seeing the blackened bruise around Ian's neck, and how pale he was - it stopped him in his tracks. The bruise was worse, it had spread despite being made by a cable cord, the bruise had went from a fine blackened blue line around his neck to a larger blackened, purple and red stripe across his neck, with some yellowing at the sides.

Around Ian's mouth, his lips were yellowing, possibly from the pills that had been swallowed at the time.

"The fuck, Ian?" Mickey whimpered, taking in the sight of the ginger haired EMT before him. 

Turning to look at the board on the wall, Mickey tearfully read the words written in blue dry-erase ink, about keeping him induced and as comfortable as possible. Focusing now on his liver enzymes being lowered, too. Lip felt tears forming behind his own eyes then realized he couldn't stay in there. "I'm gonna leave you with him for a few minutes, I need to breathe, then I'll be back," Lip spoke softly but Mickey didn't respond - he simply stood still.

Mickey started to remember something Ian had mentioned about pheromones on their way to Mexico; how that was one of the reasons they were so drawn to each other. How, because of the pheromones, they couldn't fake their feelings because their chemistry was so strong. "I hope this works, God, _I hope this works_ ," Mickey muttered as he removed his coat to toss it onto the sofa in the room. He swiftly removed his stolen uniform top, tied the camouflage patterned shirt around his waist, then climbed onto the bed carefully. He didn't want to disturb any machinery or cause a malfunction, unplug Ian by mistake, or make any other wrong move to cause problems. 

As he was laying down, his hand gently brushed Ian's cheek beneath his eye, and Mickey kissed both of his eyelids gently. Ian continued to lie perfectly still. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, Ian." Mickey whispered, their foreheads touching gently as tears ran down Mickey's cheeks, which he gently wiped off with the back of his hands. "I love you, now come the fuck back to me before I lose my mind here," Mickey continued on, he ran his hand along Ian's torso, feeling his abs which were surrounding a very flat stomach from Ian's lack of being able to eat. The Milkovich brother could feel Ian's ribs as he moved his hand slowly down his body to the other's arm, then his forearm, followed by his hand as their fingers finally intertwined. 

Mickey stayed still, loosely holding hands with the other. Thinking of something he could do, anything, to help the love of his life come back or at least react to stimulus. The older of the two traced his thumb along the back of Ian's hand, the sound of his heart rate on the monitor began to beep faster, and Mickey took notice.

"Ian, if there's any way you're here with me right now and you want to live," Mickey choked out as he looked at the monitor, "I need you to fight this and come back. Please. Fight like hell and come back because you belong with me," he pleaded. Out of the corner of his eye, Mickey thought he saw a twitch along Ian's eyelid. He felt crazy as he continued to lay there, skin-to-skin, with the other young man. 

"Take my hand back, Ian. If you heard me, c'mon, you can do it - take my hand." Mickey instructed, loosening his grip, with their fingers only barely interlacing now. 

Lip returned to take in the sight before him, and he furrowed his brow then lowered his head. His logical mind telling him that, while Mickey was being incredibly sweet, there was no way his brother could be moving because the other boy was in the room. "If you're gonna do it for anyone - do it for Mickey. Trevor hasn't been here since he found you, Ian, as far as I know. At least Mickey came back for you." Lip spoke up, some part of him had hope, yet still there were so many doubts. Lip walked to the other side of the bed, Mickey didn't seem to mind at that point, but it was the first time Lip had really spent time with Ian in the last twenty-four hours. 

"My chest hurts so bad, Lip." Mickey admitted. "I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like before but I didn't know I would feel my heart actually -- breaking like this." He added.

"You're gonna be okay, _right_?"

"Yeah, it's just so fuckin' hard to deal with. So much for 'pheromones and chemistry'; I guess when I left - _it left_." Mickey admitted, finally feeling cool fingers wrapping around his own, and Lip's cyan hued eyes widened. Collecting himself, Lip ran out into the hall to the nurse's desk, to tell them Ian was responding. Mickey didn't have much time to move but he continued to watch Ian's actions.

Ian's hand dropped again as the nurses walked into the room.

"They'll do that involuntarily." a nurse named Carmen J. stated, as she pushed her glasses upwards on her nose, before shoeing Mickey from the bed. "Hey, get off of there, you can't lay on his bed with him! Who in the world do you think you are?" 

Startled, Mickey got up as carefully as possible, only to feel Ian's hand reach out and grab his once more. Though when he opened his eyes, they were rolled back, and their blue-green hues were locked up on the ceiling above. 

"See, we fuckin' knew it! He's comin' around and you... _how dare you talk shit like that_. Don't talk to me like that again; he's waking up because I showed up." Mickey exclaimed, he sounded both angry and tense and yet - excited to see Ian responding. Lip bent down and kissed his brother's forehead.

"I doubt that. Move aside." Carmen stated, pushing past Lip as she looked into Ian's eyes with a light. He blinked at the harshness of the sudden glow hitting his pupils.

"Come on, Ian. You're doing great; you've got this!" Mickey stated, grinning as he put his shirt back on so the other nurses would stop glaring at him. 

"Ian it's Nurse Carmen, again!" the nurse commented as she moved her silver locked ponytail to the side, before she reached down to see if he would take her hand, or move on command for her. "Take my hand?" She asked, Ian looked upwards at the ceiling again, then to the right of him and instead he reached for Lip. His eyes were totally blurred by medication and from the coma, but he could make out shapes. Enough so that he could tell the difference between Lip's hand resting next to the thinner, wrinkled hand that belonged to Carmen.

"That's not my hand, Ian."

" **Does it fuckin' matter?** He's _responsive_ now get the damn doctor in here before I have your ass fired!" Lip demanded hatefully, motioning for her to leave the room, and once she was gone the two older men in the room smiled at each other as Ian seemed to finally be coming around. Despite the horrific ordeal that had happened earlier that very same morning.

 


	4. Listen to Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Credits:  
> "Listen to Your Heart" by Roxette  
> Note: I'm on a semi-writing hiatus for this story (from 9/30 until 8/9) until I can get things settled around here. My family had an emergency, one of our family members had to have surgery, and we're trying to get settled for them to come home. It's going to be busy so I may need ten or so days before the next update (due to my mental health state, things going on, and taking care of the family member I've mentioned - prayers, positive vibes, and love are appreciated greatly by me/my family/the patient) . Please be patient, don't worry, I'll be writing but it's hard to write something depressing during a time like this!

The air was thick with smoke and the smell of booze as Mandy set foot back inside The Alibi Room, a shy smile formed across her lips as she locked eyes on Kev, and the bartender had to do a double take before realizing who she was. He then turned his attention to Lip as he handed him another glass of soda - a cold glass of Mountain Dew; one of few sodas on tap inside the bar.

Deep down, he knew what was about to happen, as he looked across the bar. Before Kevin could mutter a word, Lip took a big gulp of his beverage as he thought solemnly to himself about the situation at hand. His brother suddenly waking up, wondering if it was a 'surge', or if his brother had really come back from his coma. Thinking about it was slowly getting to the young man's mind and as he turned to the right, feeling a pair of eyes upon him, he didn't expect to see Mandy there next to him.  Mandy looked the same except for her hair, it was still long, and pulled back into a ponytail but it was strawberry blonde; like she wanted the red tint to her hair to return so it could become fully red once more. She reminded him of the girl he knew when they first got to know one another. 

Startled, Lip's reflexes caused him to react with a quick jolt, which led to a similar reaction in Mandy. "Sorry, Lip, I didn't know what to say when I came in so I just sat down." She explained, her tone of voice sounding panicked as she spoke up for the first time; it was also the first time since they originally spoke about Ian's condition over the phone. "How's Ian? My brother, being the stubborn asshole he is, still hasn't contacted me or said a word about him. He's here though, right?" Mandy added, quietly questioning the eldest Gallagher brother.

"Ian is awake... _somehow;_ it looks like he's pulling through but still needs some help with breathing," Lip stated, he had a distance in his tone that left him sounding like he had lost hope in his brother's future despite the reality surrounding him. "I don't fucking know how he's alive, Mandy!" Lip began, his eyes were locked on the glass of soda before him. "Mickey showed up and suddenly, Ian's back, and it's - not something we thought could or would happen." He concluded, keeping his voice down about the Milkovich sibling being back in town.

"This whole situation calls for booze and you're not drinking, either? What all did I miss?" Mandy asked in response, noticing her ex was drinking soda over a cold mug of beer like he used to.

Lip reached into his pocket and grabbed a piece of plastic, he laid it down on the bar before him, and tapped the piece of green plastic with white lettering. "Six months sober; Kev won't let me drink when I'm here, he refuses to give me anything but soda, and it's the same with everyone else working this place. So if I feel myself craving a drink, I come here, and I smoke and drink a soda or two. Then I head out," Lip explained, though his hands were shaking as he sat there looking longingly at the mug, wishing it was a beer. Just once, the taste of alcohol would be welcomed back like an old friend, as the liquid would pour across his lips.

"Wow. That's a lot to take in," Mandy spoke softly, placing her hand down onto her ex-boyfriend's forearm, she glanced up at Kev with a sympathetic look as if she was silently thanking him.

"I'm glad you made it half a year though, that's a long time."

"You really have no clue how badly I want a drink." Lip stated, taking another drink of the Mountain Dew, noticing Kev shaking his head in the negative. "I know, Kev, I know."

"Do you mind taking me to the Hospital to see Ian?" Mandy asked, Lip sighed softly as he put out his cigarette before he got up from the bar stool.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

 

"Are we dealing with a 'surge' like we were told before?" Lip could hear Fiona asking from down the hall as soon as he arrived with Mandy. The two exchanged a worried glance, Fiona looked head on and locked eyes with her brother, as she began to tear up.

Ian's newest doctor, Dr. Martyn, shook his head then smiled while Fiona had to fight off thoughts of how gorgeous this man was. She didn't want to entertain the very intrusive thoughts while they spoke. "Luckily, no, you're somehow getting your brother back but it's going to take some time," Dr. Martyn calmly explained as he looked into the room where Ian was resting. Mickey was still sitting there with him, he hadn't moved much in the last twenty-four hours, as if he was scared to leave Ian alone for long. Fearing the worst. He had a calm, gentle demeanor about him, and seemed to have great sympathy for everyone involved in a medical case. 

Lip stood still as he listened to the conversation, Mandy stopped to take a look back when she was midway to the room, motioning for Lip to come on. He took a deep breath and slowly approached the room with his ex-girlfriend. "You're saying he's okay? He's going to make it?" Mandy asked, Lip then took her hand and looked at her like he was asking her to go along with his plan. 

"This is my fiancee, Melody," Lip commented in a lie, he had already met with Dr. Martyn earlier in the day but left it to Fiona to get more updates while he was gone. He was surprised at the outcome; he had been fearing the worst and wondered how Ian could pull through. "It's okay if she asks questions; Ian's her best friend," Lip explained, using his free hand to wipe a tear falling from his eyelid.

"I'm telling all of you that yes he will live through this but it's still a medical mystery as to how he's pulling through so well. Hopefully, this will be a one time occurrence and he won't try to harm himself like this again," Dr. Martyn commented, Fiona nodded tearfully in agreement as she let out a breath of relief. Though thoughts of Ian trying again and rediscovering him there, near death, and trying to save him once more started to plague her mind. 

"I hope he won't try again. Seeing him like that to start with," she began as she wiped away more tears, "I think that was the worst moment of my life by far and I've had a lot of bad shit happen in my past." She admitted, the doctor nodded as if he understood how she felt but he couldn't dive into his personal life, due to professionalism. "What all did he manage to do to himself?" Fiona asked.

"He has a bleeding ulcer in his stomach and his liver is damaged which is why his skin is yellow. There's only a minor bleed, we're watching it to make sure it's controlled before we decide on surgical intervention. We're keeping him mentally stable with his medications, in fact we have added an anti-psychotic, and we're keeping him comfortable through this difficult time." the doctor explained, taking a look over his shoulder as he thought about how much love seemed to be in the room when Ian's apparent partner was there that day. He had never seen someone look at someone else so lovingly, except for on television. 

"Whoever _that may be_ , he **really** loves Ian and you can see it in his eyes. I think it may be one of the incredibly few cases where our patient is holding on for someone else and fighting instead of giving up; that's... something else. I haven't seen anything like it but I know it happens sometimes." Dr. Martyn concluded as he walked off to give the family some company before he entered into another room to continue his rounds for the day.

Ian's eyes opened again, Mickey reached forward and took the other's hand in his own, lacing their fingers. "Welcome back!" Mickey quietly yet happily exclaimed, every eye movement from the other was another breath of relief for the older of the two young men. "How are you feeling?" Mickey added, Ian shrugged and motioned for his dry erase board and marker on the table in front of him, that was on his bed instead of the table.

"I was trying to sleep." Mickey read as soon as Ian finished scribbling down the note to him. "Why are you here? I left a letter, one saying to let you be free from these chains I bind you down with, ** _why would you come back_**?" Ian wrote, Mickey read the words off and a pain shot through his heart like he had been stabbed in the chest with a dull blade. 

"What the fuck, _Firecrotch_?" Mick exclaimed, his tone turning to one of confused hurt. "Look, I love you, and as I said before - being with you really does make me free. You doing this lead me here so I could get away from the crimes I've dealt with. The horrors of being there were - nothing like I've seen before. Those men, they were more evil than Terry, alright?" Mickey tried to explain his feelings in regard to Ian's somewhat cruel words.

Ian picked the marker back up. Lip stood in the doorway with a look of guilt in his eyes, he stepped forward, deciding to intervene as Mandy followed him into the room too. Still holding Lip's hand in mutual reassurance. "It was me, okay? I contacted Mandy and Mickey; blame me. Don't blame him for loving you, if you're going to be mad, then be mad at me for disregarding the contents of the letter. It's absolute  _bullshit_ anyway and you know it." Lip ranted, swallowing hard as he finished.

The twenty-three year old quit writing at that point, his eyes were slowly forming the shapes of the features of those across from him. His eyes were still somewhat blurred, at a distance, by medication and by possible damage from the suicide attempt. A lack of oxygen alone could do so much damage; even to one's own eye sight. Ian truly was one of the lucky survivors with seemingly minimal damage done. Just some fixable organ damage at the worst and a nasty bruise along his sore neck.

"Why are my hands like this? Strapped to the bed?" Ian wrote down holding the sign up.

"So you won't do anything stupid." Mickey commented, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat there on the couch feeling bitter about his arrival now that he knew his ex-lover wasn't too happy with him being there. "I think I'm going to go back to the house for a bit, rest, and come back later. I need some time to myself." Mickey continued, his mood had been ruined by Ian's harsh words towards him. 

Before he could get up to leave, Ian could make out a faint light gray sweater and black jeans, along with his older brother's sun-kissed skin. "Lip?" He wrote down on the board, holding it up to the eldest Gallagher brother. Lip forced a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, it's me. Actually, I contacted Mickey and Mandy so they could see you because we thought it was..." Lip spoke softly, his eyes looked down at his brother's wrists which were held down by the bed. 

"Don't blame him; I just - I **stupidly** thought Mickey would want to see you one last time, you know?" Lip stated, his eyes locking on Ian's expression. Despite the breathing tube inside his mouth, lodged in his throat, to keep air steadily flowing he could tell his brother really wanted to yell from the look in his eyes. "I did it because Mandy and Mickey love you, alright? I thought you were dying and I couldn't let you do that without letting them say goodbye." Lip concluded, feeling incredibly guilty but he was glad that he had told them after he thought it over for a moment. "They love you, I love you, we all love you; so _stop being a prick_ to us! We should be pissed at you but we're just glad you're awake right now." 

"Just get out of here!" Ian responded by writing boldly in blue across the board in front of him as the black ink began to dry out. 

"All of us?" Lip questioned.

"All of you **except** Mickey, he needs to stay, we need to talk but you and Mandy - go somewhere else and leave us be for a bit. Come back later, I want to talk to both of you, too." Ian concluded, waving his hand to shoo them out of the room. The former couple exchanged a glance then walked out into the halls, Mandy felt upset at the fact that she wouldn't get to talk to either her brother or Ian as soon as she thought.

"Hey, we'll go back to the house, I've got pizza waiting there and we'll hang out while we eat. Unless Frank came home and ate it all," Lip spoke softly, trying to cheer Mandy up, though Mandy had gone cold. Again Lip felt his heart drop in his chest as he looked at his former girlfriend, he thought about it then decided to confess something. "Hey, I missed you more than you realized and - I'll admit - I remember when you looked at me like that at one point in time. Just seeing you makes me wish you'd start doing it again and come home for good, Mandy."

"---Really, Lip?" Mandy asked, feeling taken aback as she leaned against the soothing color of pastel turquoise paint covered walls, as she held onto the wooden railing to gain leverage. Knowing he felt like that meant the world to her, she had missed him to after so much time apart, and Lip wasn't one to go back to women he had once been with. Except for Karen and Helene; they seemed to be his only exceptions at one point in time. "I don't want to live here in the South Side you know. I got away and I'm happy but I miss you, too. I'm just so torn; I'll need time to think but we need to stay in touch and reconnect."

"Starting over pizza and a movie while we give those two some time?"

"Yeah, I love the idea of that actually. Let's go rest and eat." 

"Alright, c'mon!"


	5. Every Breath You Take

After Lip and Mandy left together, Ian drifted back off and Mickey felt like he was robbed of his chance to get to be with Ian while he was awake. His breathing continued at an even pace through out the night, Mickey would wake up every other hour and check on the sleeping ginger. Hearing the sound of a groan coming from Ian, Mickey sat up, and realized he wasn't alone in the room - Fiona was there as well. "Holy shit, you scared me!" Mickey exclaimed quietly, startling the eldest Gallagher out of her sleepy haze.

"Tough shit, Mickey, I'm here to stay with my brother." Fiona retorted, she then moved to get up but was beaten to Ian's bedside by Mickey when he approached from the left. Finally, Ian's eyes were fully open, and he was alert. Seeing two of the most important people in his life before him. His former lover and his older sister; two people that arguably loved him the most out of anyone - with the exception of Lip. "Ian, can you hear us? Do you know who we are?" Fiona questioned, Ian's eyes welled up and he pointed to the white erase board and dry erase pen next to the bed. His hands were bound to the bedside but he had enough range to lay his hands down to write and put pressure on the board, once it was handed over by Mickey.

"I told them not to tell you about this in the note. I fucking told Lip!" Ian wrote down, holding it up so Mickey could see the words he had written in blue ink. Mickey swallowed hard but let the words roll off his back, trying not to let it get to him, as he knew that Ian may have been looking out for him. He knew Ian's heart, after all.

"Too fuckin' bad, ** _Firecrotch_**. I'm here to stay." Mickey stated, furrowing his brow as he looked down at the other.

"Haven't you heard of boundaries?" Ian wrote after erasing the last bit from the board.

"Yes, I have, but you mean the world to me Ian and I'm not going to fucking - ignore your brother. He knew you'd want me here; **_so here I fucking am_**." Mickey argued, Fiona gave him a stern look and Mickey eased up on his hateful demeanor and tone of voice. "I love you, okay? Like I said, it means _we take care of each other_ and I'm here; I don't see anyone else here for you, except family." He concluded, soon two nurses rushed in to interrupt and Mickey muttered something under his breath before sitting back down on the couch.

"Mmnh," Ian let out a grunt loud enough to make Mickey look over to the younger male lying in the hospital bed.

"Can the tube be removed?" Fiona asked the nurse, named Rosita, about the baby blue tube supplying the young man with oxygen.

"Possibly, we'll need to run a few tests but he's very alert. That could be a good sign or it could mean something is wrong," Rosita explained. Ian scribbled another note down onto the white board and held it up to her.

"How's your son? Did he make the baseball team? I know he worked hard, I was rooting for him. The White Sox are my favorite!" Ian wrote, Rosita was astounded at his brain activity and how he must have heard her rambles, and all her worries. "Also, leave your husband, he's shit; you deserve a non-abuser." Ian added, trying to smile with the tube in his mouth, Rosita wiped a tear from her eye and smiled over to Fiona.

"On second thought, maybe it can be removed as long as he isn't having what we call a 'surge'." The petite nurse admitted, smiling sweetly as she left the room to go get the neurologist on call. "Ian I will tell you everything when I can, okay?" The middle-aged woman concluded, all Ian could do was smile at her with his eyes before she left the room. Once she was out of there, Ian looked back over to Mickey as the older of the two held his head in his own hands, while tearing up.

Fiona began to tear up as she happily moved closer to take Ian's hand. "I hope she's right and everything is okay. I want to hear your voice," Fiona spoke softly, as happy tears rolled down her cheeks while Ian gave her hand a squeeze. His hands were warm, not cold as they were when he was first in the hospital, and to anyone that would be a good sign.

* * *

Another scan showed the brain activity going on inside the other's mind. He was thinking clearly, able to show the doctors emotion and everything that he could remember. It seemed the only forgotten thing was the act that caused him to attempt suicide. Otherwise, he was functioning on a relatively normal level for someone that had just been in a coma for over ten days. He was showing that he was breathing on his own now, too, despite still having swelling in and around his neck.

Testing had completed that night and they all learned Ian's fate by that same evening; only an hour before Ian was due to have no more visitors except for the two staying. Mickey and Fiona. A small team of doctors, a few interns, and a couple of nurses were by his side when the tube was removed; letting Ian take his first breath on his own after so long. Ian coughed, harshly as he struggled for a moment before he relaxed like his doctor had instructed him to do. Mickey bit the corner of his lip as he watched on-ward.

With a white board placed in front of him, Ian knew he probably shouldn't talk to anyone just yet because he wasn't sure about his vocal chords. "Where the hell is Trevor?" Ian wrote, clearly the young man hadn't been around and he wasn't going to show up again. Fiona didn't know how to tell him the news but she decided to go for it since it was easier to rip the bandage off; than let her little brother long for someone that didn't seem to care.

"Trevor told us - around day three - that this was too much for him and that he couldn't do it. Work was already enough stress and you doing this didn't help him feel any better, in fact, he felt worse and he needed to end things. He said he was sorry and hoped you would come out of this and he hasn't been back since then." Fiona explained, yet Mickey had been back from Mexico and had been miraculously evading police or suspicion since his return. He had been right there the whole time, right next to Ian, hiding from everyone in plain sight.

"So that's how he wants to end things?" Ian asked, Mickey furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched this unfold.

Fiona nodded in response.

"That's fucked." Ian replied after writing the words down. He then put the board down and looked over at Mickey; Mickey, by that point, was looking outside rather than at his ex-boyfriend and sighed softly to himself.

Ian smacked his hand down on the table in front of him turning Mickey's attention back to him. "Yeah, what do you want you Flamin' Hot Cheeto?" Mick spat. Ian smirked, picked up the blue marker before him once more and wrote down a few words, turning the board over to Mickey.

"Thank you for being here for me after all this. You didn't have to do it, I know I didn't want you to but thank you for risking it all, anyway." Ian had written.

"You know I'd do anything for you." Mick replied softly, quickly brushing away a tear before it could fall past his cheek. 


End file.
